I always felt and still feel in my deepest soul that I was meant to build; to create something great. A great movie, a great business or something else great. I know my number one job is to get better and healthy, quite a task in itself, but I just can’t surrender. Excuse me for my arrogance, but I have a lot still to do. Yet the old way wasn’t working. It was too taxing. I was surviving more than building. I’m starting to realize the difference.

I was always known as the survivor, bringing myself up from failures to successes, but at what cost? Ups and downs were plenty and I have no regrets for those years as it allowed me to achieve many dreams, but as I write I know I have angst and discontent. I need to complete my healing and I am still far, far from being free from all of this. It will come to me as I heal and let the meds and my mindset do their thing. I know it will. I have greater purpose for this world. Money, contribution, family, fun, and fulfillment… all with a deep sense of purpose and peace. Shouldn’t we all have that?