So i took a cat scan yesterday. All i know is that its a large mass on my lung and it could be anything from non cancerous to full blown out ..whatever they” call it

Im not going there yet , except in real dark moments i work myself up to..As you can imagine the unknown is the worst..  I have been getting a lot of support calls from people.. The ones by far sthat are most helpful are the ones tahy say ,,it sucks no doubt ,its probabaly nothing , but whatever it is , times are different now, you are healthy , open minded to adding  alternatives to your traditional recovery modalities such as chemo surgery amd radiaton

Its my mind , my attitude, my willing  to see just success out of this ,and a complete disappearance.of this tumor is what i pray for.

My life changed yesterday morning when I first heard my cell phone go off at 8… and then my home phone. When I saw it was from Doctor Meltzer, my GP, given I had x rays taken the night before my antennas went up and the worst thing I’ve ever heard said to me ( even worse than you lost your money in this investment, or you have to sell your house ,or your trip was cancelled …or anything I ever fear to hear.   The words were, ” Nathan you need to make an appointment with the oncologist today ….what ? What ? Could I have cancer I asked . Yes he said..  I hate to give you this news..But it looks serious YOu have large mass on your chest That was yesterday morning the day my life changed forever. The day my perspective shifted forever ..

I am filled with raw emotions .The ones that cut straight through to the gut.  Sometimes there just iisn’t  a way to sound articulate…Im at a loss  for words right now.