Nathan's Blog

My Journey

What I Learned Today

I said in my letter I was going to learn things along the way that would eventually heal me. It was a hard day. I heard the doctor read off a litany of side effects I would likely be experiencing and another weird dynamic is that the more I accept my situation, the more I know it is real. There is no turning back to my old life. I won’t ever be the “Where are we going for dinner Saturday night?” And even if I do say that, it will be a me I don’t even know yet. That’s the hardest part about today. My physical being, the person I knew… the relentless sports, tennis , running, basketball and time at the gym won’t be a part of my everyday life. And there will always be that vulnerability, especially now about my ultimate healing and dare I say… the fear if I don’t… My journey now is to strengthen my belief systems. Beliefs aren’t wrong or right. They are mine. I must always know that at my core. Yes I have science behind me, a bunch of great doctors, but it is me who will heal me.

My first lessons of love and change of how I see myself is that hey, people don’t care where I live or whether I can do a reverse layup (which I can’t, but always wanted to) or whether I can shoot a 75 ( actually don’t care about that one.) I do though love the beauty of a golf course.

What I learned is people who love me or respect me for me, it is for the core person that I am: a vulnerable a person who feels deeply and loves deeply, is passionate whether he’s watching a Jets game, going for a rebound, building a business, seeing a new country, sitting to dinner with my family or arguing a point a view. A person that makes a difference. That’s my lesson for today. I may actually learn to love myself. Let those cells know that so that they change their DNA because they served their purpose. I need to serve mine now. That’s what I’m fighting for and that’s the sadness I feel. I don’t want the pain that goes with the healing.


  • Reply Uncle Shimon |

    The soul Belongs to the Almighty
    The body belongs to the Almighty
    When one of them malfunctions we have to return the the Creator asking for guidance and help, to fix that which needs fixing.
    I love you, and menton your name Natan Naftali ben Tehila every morning in the part of the Shemone Esreh where one may pray for those that need healing.
    May Hashem grant you His blessing of healing right away. Amen.

  • Reply Tobie Grama |

    hair is highly overrated….loving, honoring, appreciating and respecting yourself is really what it’s all about. I am always deeply touched by those who have learned their most important life lessons while battling a serious illness. You’ve got the goods, Nathan….I believe you will put up a really good fight and emerge healthy and happier in a way you never thought possible.

    Though we don’t know each other well, I can tell you are a mensch. I knew this when you stood with me at Aunt Lilly’s funeral.

    I am thinking of you and sending my positive thoughts to you.

  • Reply Mindy Strum |

    Hi Nathan, the Rosenberg/Strum/Ostrow/Forschein families are all sending positive thoughts and love your way! xo

  • Reply Randy Seltzer |

    Hope you remember me from the vertical club, restaurants, parties and the Hamptons!
    Your smile and energy was always contagious
    You always had great hair days and will continue to be the same person
    Challenges for all of us make us stronger and I know you will have the fortitude and strength to handle this!
    I wish you all the best thoughts and prayers to beat this and take one day at a time
    God is on your side
    My Best

  • Reply Bruce Friedman |


    I have you in my thoughts and prayers every day. Stay strong !!!!!
    Need anything from me, please let me know.


  • Reply Sheila klein Cohen |

    Hi Nathan, it’s been a very long time since we all lived at 340 E. 80th.
    I just saw your blog and will be praying for your strength and a very speedy recovery…
    Xoxo sheila

  • Reply marcy katz |

    Nathan, sending lots of love and prayers to you, randy, and your boys, from me , doug, harrison and danny….stay strong. thinking of you every day.

  • Reply Jackie Shapiro |

    Hi Nathan:

    So sorry that the news wasn’t what you wanted to hear but you’re strong enough to deal with what’s ahead.
    I’ve been there, gone thru the treatments but eventually all will be good and you just need to have positive no matter what. Take one day
    at a time…
    My thoughts and prayer are with you.

    jackie shapiro

  • Reply beth weissenberger |

    Hi Nathan,
    Risa and Doug let me know at our holiday party….and after the initial holy shit, oh no, f***ck, ok…shit….and asking how your space is, your wife, jake, etc, i began my own ‘conducting my imagination’ for your well being, health, beating this, learning the deep lesson for this, and the incredible story that you will tell all of us as you heal. I love you, rooting for you and know that it is healed…you got this. All my love and prayers, beth

  • Reply Heidi Krugman |

    Nathan, I can’t believe I am sitting here reading this blog, eventhough you are a great writer I wish I was not reading this because that would mean you were healthy. I always think of you when I hear the word journey , so now I only wish for your journey to be as successful as the boys Bar Mitzvahs were. May your journey through this illness break through and fight this with the determination of a Samurai Warrior. We are thinking of you daily and wish only good healthy vibes to get you back to your old “sporty” self! Hey we need you to dance at my daughters wedding! (not that its happening any time soon so you have some time to heal and get rid of those bad cells and get strong enough to have a dance off) We love you and let Randy know when and if you are up for visitors.
    Heidi & Jeff

  • Reply Debbie Spillane |

    Hello Nathan,
    You probably don’t remember me but we went to North Bergen High together. I just want to say how sorry I am for all you’re going through right now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong!

  • Reply ziv lachish |

    Like everyone I have been following your health with concern and hope, especially with a lot of optimism,
    In our family did not give up and always win,
    You will continue to write, and we all continue to pray for the success of treatment
    Love …..Ziv

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