(Tomorrow, after delays, I finally start my chemo.)
We want to shield them from pain no matter what their age. I want them not to hurt or worry about me. I want them to feel that I am the rock that I am supposed to be. But I can’t do much more than show them love- love that I have always showed them as well as the strength I am feeling… along with the vulnerability and fear I have going on with my faith.
What is somewhat freeing to me is that they are going to do what they are going to do. They will process this through their own filters. They are unique souls and actually have been since they came into this world.
It doesn’t make my pain any less.
We never want our kids to hurt but I really have little control over their reactions and how they sit alone with their own thoughts and process the situation. They will be okay… that I know… The pain is really my pain. I know that I have instilled enough of a home, a physical and spiritual home that they can always return to and, ultimately, that will be enough.
We all love our kids so much and, me being sick, I feel no different except that now they know I am not superman. But I’m still their dad and, by the way, my undying faith is that this will all turn out happy.
Oh, how we love our kids.
Jan has been sharing your blog with me, and we are wanting to be respectful of your privacy and supporting of you all at the same time. Jan and I would like to visit you and Randy when you feel up to it, and we were wondering if you felt like company?
You and Randy and the boys have become family to us, and we want you to know we are here for you and wish only that you beat this thing and let you know we love you Randy and the boys. We greatly admire the way you have been dealing with this unexpected situation, and want to be there for you all in any way that we can.
Much love and prayer for your complete recovery, you are not alone, and loved by your family and friends !!!
Paul and Janis
I have been waiting all day to hear your thoughts…..
Keep your positive attitude and healthy thoughts throughout the day.
Everyone is praying for you to beat this. I will be at TBT tonight for the 8:30 minyan and will add an extra prayer for you.
Bruce
love reading your blogs…will all the way thru to your healing and disappearing of it all….I LOVE YOU…..!!!
Nathan… I just visited the Kotel and said many prayers for you. May you find strength in your amazing family. All the Wassers are thinking good thoughts. Xoxo
Besides all the love and inner strength you’ve given your sons you also added the special spice of life, that of a precious dog, to further instill LOVE in all it’s beautiful forms to them. God ‘s spirit be with you and your beautiful family during this difficult time.
So so true Nathan..beautifully written!!❤️
Thinking of you with love and all the best wishes in the world. Love reading your sensitive and insightful thoughts. Xoxo