Nathan's Blog

My Journey

Still sweating the small stuff

I loved it. I had a single- no roommate for 2 days, it was really a lucky situation…  A new patient comes shuffling in.

Who knows what he has? Some terminal cancer? Or here for a 2 day stopover? Didn’t matter, my personal space has been invaded. Didn’t seem to matter that I just got my second hardcore chemo treatment or that I may start getting really nauseous.

There are parts of me that I’ll never get rid of. I can be a little bit grouchy, somewhat finicky, I need my privacy and as much as I love, love, love people… they also annoy the shit out of me. The good news is that next to me lies a magical button. It’s “The Line.” Press it and the drugs appear before my eyes. Love, assurances, and drugs and I get what I need to calm me down. So far, no Johnny Walker Blue available.

I’ve had a continuous flow of guests, again always uplifting, though sometimes I need some quiet.

The fear still pops up. What if this protocol doesn’t work? I’m nervous about money. Even though I was told I should allow myself this opportunity to slow my mind down, so far I can’t seem to do it. But my 1 minute rule still applies. I haven’t allowed myself to wallow in anything for too long. I still wallow more about the noises my roommate is making (a curtain separates us) and maybe that’s a good thing… I’m still me.

At least this guy doesn’t smoke in the bathroom.


  • Reply Annie |

    To take your mind off of your roommate chitch, Mike says just think of your next ride on the Harley in the spring along Jones Beach! You loved it and he loved taking you!

    • Reply Nathan |

      funny i got frendly with the roomate ,,Hes a first responder and thats why he got sick and hes a harley rider big time .

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