Even when I have a whole day of nothing to do (except for the intermittent poking and prodding,) I like to wake up and start the day early. I love the morning when I am most peaceful, especially when I have no discomfort, which is the case this very morning. It is at these times that I have the most clarity. I am just more peaceful.
My mother has shown more resilience and than I thought she would be capable, but then again I’ve seen my mom battle a lot and make a great life for herself. I love you so much Mom and we are going to celebrate a lot together.
Jake is tough, practical, and level headed. He’s a good soul.
Michael is super sensitive, very loving, and learning how to process this all, just like he should be doing.
Randy, is still as close to an angel as humanly possible. Pure love. We are partners forever.
Forgiving is hard. I think it’s an ongoing practice. In fact, I’m sure of it.
My sister has been over-the-top amazingly supportive. She’s really creating a life she loves.
My friends have shown themselves to be greater people than I gave them credit for and I am grateful to have them.
Family is… well, what can I say? It makes the difference.
My hair is starting to fall out. Oy, I wonder how I’ll adapt to it. I’m so vain.
I feel good. Doctors say I am doing great, but my energy is low so I know I am sick. I need to remind myself, I need to figure out what “take care of yourself ” means.
I still have a large appetite. Steroids change things in your body but they are very effective. I’m enjoying my food.
I always want to be creating. It’s just in me. It is me.
I miss competing, even if it’s only been a few weeks.
I never thought myself the optimist, just a survivor. I think I was wrong. I believe in people and in myself.
I do believe in the power of the mind to change things and don’t take things as face value and probably never have.
I love to travel and explore. I can’t wait till my next trip. I’m already plotting.
I still say, “What the fuck, really?” This wasn’t in my plans. Wasn’t even a thought.